Blog, Fabulously Feminine

We need to stop pushing our children.

Reading the Sunday newspaper, the Guardian, on my IPad today starting on the home page reading about the embarrassing elections I quickly skipped it all as the headlines told me enough already. Ed is going to resign, finally! Never did think he had the right energy to lead the Labour Party anyway…. Read my last blog colum … Time for more women to start leading equally and jointly with men …. So let’s wish for a female Labour Leader ….

Anyway im side tracking now… I somehow landed on a parenting page… Must have clicked Lifestyle – family – divorce – children – and read several articles written over the last year or so and landed on Tiger Parenting (made famous by Amy Chua) and Tanith Carey whom is the complete opposite to tiger parenting and writes the following in the article I have quoted below:

“Today a quarter of schoolchildren receive tutoring, up from 18% five years ago, according to research by the education charity the Sutton Trust. From traditional one-on-one teaching to group classes and online services, the UK market alone has been estimated at £6bn per year, and to employ one million people.

Yet many parents find that tutoring is not the magic bullet. Put an under-confident child in one-to-one tutoring with a tutor who does not know how to handle problems such as low academic self-esteem and that child will often end up feeling even worse about themselves and more resistant to learning.

Far from producing a brave new world of accomplished wunderkind, we are churning out anxious and depressed children. Instead of helping children do well at school, hothousing and tiger parenting risk instilling homework resistance, maths anxiety, a lack of enthusiasm for reading, low confidence, sleep problems and disconnection from parents.

Many parents have not yet realised that some of the behavioural issues they are struggling with are a result of the pressure that many children now feel.

Many children either feel loved conditionally on their successes – or they detach to avoid feeling that they are disappointing parents.

It is not just the fault of parents. They are bringing up children in a competitive culture, encouraged by governments and status-obsessed schools. Parents are made to constantly fear that they are never doing enough to help their children succeed in a cut-throat world of work and higher education.

But it is time for parents to reclaim a carefree childhood for their children and to enjoy parenting once again. Parents need to stop raising their children on the principles that they must beat everyone in their class, that their school needs to rise up the league tables, or for their country to defeat every other nation on Earth in global education rankings.

In short, parents have to be careful what they wish for. Happiness and security, not exam grades, should be the real measure of parental success.” (Tanith Carey, Guardian saturday 4 October 2014)

I couldn’t agree more with her…. Children need parental guidance and support to discover in a safe environment who they are and what they want to become. Support them in their education and believe in them even if they are more slow than the average…. They have a whole life in front of them to develop and grow… Nobody knows what they want to do for the rest of their life at the age of 16-21…. And even then many make changes throughout their life many many times…. And that’s all ok! What we need is people to believe in us and be part of your chearleader group!

Hope you will enjoy reading the Guardian lifestyle  articles…. And discover new information on various topics.

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